Friday, January 27, 2017


Pretty much anything that's ailed me, over the years, have gotten these answers for a solution when I prayed about them:


Read my scriptures.

I seem to be self-sabotaging.  I think we all sort of do this, once in a while.  Maybe it's a habit... who knows?

Whatever the case, you'd think if God was telling me these things, over and over, again, that I would grab hold and just run with them.

Well... I haven't.  I have a knack for thinking, "I need to do that", but then never actually do it.

I'm in a comfort zone.  Uncomfortable as it may be, I'm here, just the same.  This is what I know.  If I commit to making my life better by doing these things, I might actually have to do something about it.  I will be held accountable for my actions.  I won't have excuses, anymore.  Things might be different.  I hope they would be, actually.

I came across something a friend told me about, a long time, ago.  It's a supplement that's supposed to help with what ails me.  It's non-medicinal.  It means going off my meds to try it, if I'm thinking it will work.  I want to talk to my doctor, about it.  I would love to not have side-effects, but, going off meds like the ones I'm on, is scaryscaryscary.  For many reasons.  For them to work, they have to mess with your head.  To go off of them - well - messes with your head.  I'm not keen on being messed in the head anymore than I already am.

I think it's time for a change, though.  Time to step up my game.  Time to listen to God.

I'm a little hesitant.  I don't want to fail.  I don't want it to not work.  I can't just dip my toe in the water, if I choose this - it's all or nothing.  I can't do it, halfheartedly.

If you're reading this, and you're the praying type, I wouldn't mind if you sent one or two my way.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

One more thing...

I found out I have a thyroid problem.  Hypothyroidism, to be more specific.

I've been tired since junior high.  Well, 9th grade.  I missed a lot of school because of this.  I slept through a lot of classes, because of this.  I thought it was because I was sick.

I wasn't.

I remember a nurse being quite rude when I (or my mom, can't remember) asked if it could be my thyroid.

Guess what, jerk - it was.

My doctor, now, actually listened to me.  I know we were in, quite a bit, when I was a teen.  We didn't know what was going on, only that I was depressed, gaining weight, and tired, all the time.  I was very physically active and didn't eat terribly... we were baffled.

My doc suggested a certain blood test be run that he said most physicians don't run.  It's a more specific test - I can't remember what it was, though, just that it showed him what's been plaguing me all these years.

So, I've been on medication, for this.  I think I'm still suffering symptoms, though.  It's frustrating because, what if what I'm feeling is a result of the other crap I face? What if it's a side effect from one of my meds? How can I tell what is causing it??


Onward, ever onward, I guess.