Friday, July 7, 2017

Reboot.

So, for a long time, it seemed, there was a lot of anger.  So. much. anger.

Then, it kinda stopped a little... and turned into a depression of sorts.

Then, a few days, ago, I had neither.  I felt mellow? I don't know how to describe it.  But, then it kinda went to a depression/nothingness.  Just low.  Nothing.  And my brain has been laggy.  Coming up with words, forming sentences, functioning in certain situations... not happenin'.  It's been weird.

I told my husband about it - he said it's like a computer that crashed and has to reboot... and is doing so, slowly.

That just made sense.  My computer was on the fritz.  I rebooted.  Now, I'm slowly coming back online.

Only, this time, no fritz.  Just me.  I'm sincerely hoping this is par for the course - and that soon I'll be myself, again.

I'm not angry, anymore.  In fact, I'm able to calm myself rather well.  It's been nice.  I still have a smallish moment where I want to scream, but it passes, quickly, if I don't pay it any heed.  I still have moments of just wanting to not exist.  But, those pass, too.  My husband has been super lovey and attentive and patient.... it's kinda getting on my nerves.  ha ha I'm a very independent person; always have been.  I need my space.  I try to tell him this, nicely, all the time.  He forgets, I think.

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